Saturday, May 9, 2009

Communication-It's not just for breakfast anymore

I have been thinking a lot about communication lately. Particularly how some people are so good at it and others are so not good at it. Understand, I am not speaking about the ability to communicate in an articulate manner. Anyone can put together pretty words. I am talking about the ability and courage to communicate what you are really feeling. I have been accused in my life of being "too direct." Several people I know (yes, you Mark) have been accused of having "no filter." In other words, whatever they are thinking comes tumbling out of their mouth. Now there are risks and rewards to being so forthcoming with communication. The risks are, of course, you will say something inappropriate, offend someone, hurt someone etc. The rewards are the people in your circle will certainly know where they stand and they also may find your "filterless" communication very amusing.
But, here's the deal. Throughout my life, people have claimed, that they want to know how I really feel, the want direct feedback, they want me to be honest with them. Then when you give them what they want.......they don't really want it. They get defensive and don't want to take accountability and own it.
And believe me, I am just as guilty of this as the next person. Mark and I have a very communicative relationship. I tell him that we talk things to death and beat the crap out of every subject. But there's great value to that because we always look at all the angles. But having such an open communicator for a husband, also means I sometimes hear more than I want to hear. And I am just as reticent as the next guy (girl) when I hear stuff that I don't want to hear. But it's better than the alternative, which is having to guess how someone really feels about your performance, attitude, cooking, lovemaking, bathroom habits, whatever.
So, I am going to continue to be a direct communicator, albeit continuing to focus on diplomacy and form in my communication. And I want others to do the same. I can take it! Can you?

By the way, I love you all and I thank god for blessing me with your friendship. There, that was a good first step wasn't it?

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