In the last 24 hours, I have heard about several friends who have recently gone through or are currently going through major transitions in their personal lives. When I say major transitions, I think everyone knows I am talking about the loss of a relationship. As I have heard these individual's stories, I couldn't help but reflect back on the year 2000 when my first marriage ended and how at that time, I really felt as if my world was falling apart. Up until that moment, I thought I had it all, great job, husband, house, infant daughter.........all was right with the world. Then, like a Mack Truck careening into my home, it all came to an abrupt end. If I really want to be honest with myself, I probably knew the truck was coming and saw it coming around the bend long before that fateful Labor Day weekend. I just chose to ignore the screeching tires and the horn.
When the dust settled and I realized it was over, I did what every self respecting woman would do......I collapsed. I cried to my mommy, I probably drank too much wine, I smoked a lot of cigarettes, I was a mess. And then, my friends showed up. Even friends I didn't really realize I had. They arrived with notes and flowers and food and held me up. They came to my house and decorated my tree on my first Christmas alone. They took me out to dinner and kept me busy during the times my little girl was with her dad. They made me run up Point Lookout just to prove I could do it. Then, a funny thing happened, time passed, wounds healed, divorce finalized, chapters ended.
Then, I met Mark and we fell in love....got married......built a family.....and lived happily ever after. The funny thing is, I want to tell my friends who are going through hell right now, that it's all going to be ok....in fact it will be better than ok. They will move on with the next chapter and someday, just maybe, they will "bless the broken road" and find that happily ever after. I want to tell them that, but it won't likely make it hurt any less right now. So, the thing to do is to arrive with notes and flowers, and help them decorate their christmas tree and take them out to dinner when the kids are with their father. I should hold them up the way others held me up when I felt like I could collapse if the wind blew the wrong way.
I am a firm believer in fate and I believe everything happens for a reason. Someday, these friends will be happily remarried...or not. They will have more kids....or not. They will move to new places....or not. They will be friends with their ex-spouse (I am)....or not. And all this pain will be a distant memory. I hope that day comes soon for my friends.....until then....I am on the job.