Mark and I have just finished up a lovely weekend with some good friends. On Saturday, we went to their house for a good old downeast lobster boil and then on Sunday, they came to our place for Lobster Bisque and steaks on the grill. Both evenings were wonderful and relaxing and filled with laughter. This particular couple are fairly new friends of ours, as we have only known them for a few years and only recently started seeing them socially. But, talk about kismet, we both have 5 year old kiddos who love to play together, and we have so much in common with them.
So this got me thinking about friendship in general and how, in our crazy hectic lives, we often don't make enough time for adult relationships. Sometimes, we are just so busy running our kids to school and soccer and play dates that we forget that we, the adults, need a social life too. And I totally understand that, for many of us, we have precious little time to spend with our cherubs, that we hate to leave them home with a babysitter on a Saturday night. I get that. That's why I say, schlep em along. I almost always invite the children when I have a couple over for dinner. Because, I know, for some people, it's the only way they will get out of the house.
We do have some friends, who, since they have had children, we rarely see. And that bums me out. I don't want to seem too judgmental here, but I feel that friendship takes work. I know that it's often easier to stay home on a Saturday night, laying on the couch cuddling with your kiddos because this type of behavior makes sure their routine isn't disrupted. And I enjoy that kind of time just as much as the next mom. But, I think, if your doing that every weekend, you are really missing the boat. Sometimes, you have to inconvenience yourself a little bit and pack up the kiddos, put on some lipstick and head over to a friends house. Or, if that's too much for you, invite em over to your place. You really should. Because, otherwise, friendships slip away and you lose touch and then someday, it might be too late to get it back. As a mom, I am simply unwilling to forgo friendship, just because I have children. I think they are even more important now and my friends help me retain some level of my sanity.
Do me a favor..today...call up a friend you haven't seen in a while and make plans to get together soon. Remember what my mom taught me many years ago....
You have to be a friend...to have a friend.